Monday, August 4, 2008

My thoughts on One More Day

With Brand New Ways to Die just over a week away, I think I should do a little backtracking to 2007’s big Spider-event before I review 2008’s. That’s right folks, another fan talking about OMD. Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the internet.

First off, I’d like to say that this isn’t going to be some whiny bitch-fest about “wah wah wah they broke up, WAH”. I’m sure you all got an eye/ear-full of that on forums and youtube.

Rather, this is my honest, more critical, opinions on the Deal that was seen around the world. Rather than simply rant, I’ll try and be a little more professional (however you would define professionalism when it comes to this) and polite.

That being said, yes, I was pissed at Pete/MJ splitting up with that dumbass deal with Mephisto. Never had I felt more cheated out of 4 dollars in my life. The idea alone of breaking them up is frustrating, but to do so in such a lazy way just totally ruins everything they where going for.

Oh man, you want blatant revamp? Look no further. I thought DC was bad enough with there slew of Year One’s and Silver Age shot outs. At least they didn’t do this, or if they did, at least it didn’t happen to Batman. (If there was some story like this where something somewhat similar to a blatant and boring retcon to Batman happened and I am unaware of it, I apologize. Though I do remember hearing something about Joe Chill being retconned).

However, one thing I’ve heard from fans is this

“Peter and MJ’s marriage was so unrealistic. They where always like newlyweds, always happily in love, always jumping into bed at the first sight of the other naked. It was so unrealistic that it held the stories down.”

I actually agree with this, on a certain level. No marriage is perfect, and Marvel often seems to strive for a more realistic touch to their comics, so I can understand frustration when Reed Richards and Sue Storm have a tough time, yet Spidey and MJ are still finding new corners of the ceiling to **** in.

But does an unrealistic marriage warrant a flat out “magic” retcon? I would think not…and besides, while most of the time the marriage was sunshine and daisies, there where definitely rough patches. I think the best moment I can think of in that sense was the JMS/Romita Jr. story when the two where separated for a while (great story, definitely check it out if you’ve never read it). See, a more realistic approach could have been taken. Just because Quesada didn’t like the marriage was no excuse to just flat out piss us all off.

Then again, I feel this wasn’t really Quesada’s little grudge. Sure, he’s always disliked the Pete/MJ marriage, but this was more than that. I doubt he’d really be so petty as for it to just be that. No, it was that, coupled with low sales. I’m sure Spider-man wasn’t raking in enough cash as it is, so Quesada decided to do the one thing that would turn everyone’s heads backwards.

In the end, I feel that OMD was more of a business move than anything. But that leads me to another problem, comics aren’t all about how the business is doing. Marvel is already a top dog, they didn’t need this to kick more ass. I think Quesada mixed both his own dislike of the marriage and the idea of getting more money to try and justify this story in his head.

While I am over OMD, no longer do I glare at my Marko Djurdjevic variants (yes, I got all 4…) and no longer do I throw darts at a Joe Quesada board. But every so often, I may see a scan of an old story or page that makes me feel a little sad inside. I may not weep big tears like some fans, but I still feel bad about it. Though that’s just the inner fanboy in me.

When all is said and done, OMD was a spectacular mess of an awful idea. But some fans have asked…how on earth did OMD come to be? Well, we here at New Age Comics have the scoop of a lifetime! That’s right, we know how OMD came to be!

*Warning, this is a joke you are about to read. It is not real. I am kidding around. Do not flip out over this and start head-butting the computer screen. Take a long deep breath, breath in, breath out, and you should be fine. And if all else fails, run to the hills*

See, every few years at Marvel, everyone gets together. From the EIC all the way down to the lowly paper boys who fill the printers, everyone gets together, guys and girls, and they write the titles of story ideas on these big paper cups. They mix the cups up, cover the titles, and then line them all up in a row. Then they all unzip their pants, take off their skirts, you get it. Then, one by one, they start to piss in the cups. They ran back and forth from cup to cup, pissing a little, or a lot, in each one. After their done pissing, the next guy goes to piss. This goes on until everyone’s had a turn and everyone has pissed in a cup.

After this, they find the cup with the most piss in it, take off the hidden title, and the story title on that cup is the next big story.

There you go, that is how OMD was conceived. A great big pissing contest.

*The joke is over, you have the right to laugh, or not to laugh, and it is your choice. If you where at all offended, just pretend you didn’t read anything and move along slowly*

All right, now that I got that joke out of me…from a fan stand point of view, OMD will never s top stinging in some ways, but as a reviewer, if you don’t get over something than your just being spiteful and you can never enjoy whatever comes later on. So I’ve gotten over OMD on a regular level, if not still annoyed by it, it’s now just that: A brief annoyance.

So now that I’ve gotten that all out of the way, expect my review of chapters 1-6 on Brand New Ways to Die, starting next week.

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